A Most Worthy Enemy
by N Confused
Summary: The Tallests recall all Invaders to prepare for war, guided by the new Fleet Leader... Zim? Leaving Earth, Zim swears to come back in 10 years. Dib waits and plans for his childhood enemy's return. Earth won't fall without a fight! Zim/Dib, m/m, yaoi
1. Chapter 1

_A/N:__ A quick…ish note. This is my first fic here, so I hope you enjoy it. And then review to tell me so. Or review to tell me I'm terrible. Flames are fun too, as long as they have a valid point. _

_I tried to keep the overall tone of the story and characters as close to the original Invader Zim as I could, so there's going to be bad grammar (it was almost painful not correcting some of them…), and other strange spellings. Most of it is intentional, but – sadly – some of it's my own mistakes as well. I lack a beta, so if anyone's interested, drop me a line._

_This chapter is just the set-up, so it's pretty...PG. Don't worry, I will DEFINITELY change that later. I have plans for this little ZimDib. _Such_ plans... _

_Disclaimer:__ No one mentioned in this fic belongs to me, nor am I making any sort of monetary profit off of this. Credit where credit's due. I just wanted to indulge in my deviancy and innate need to slash Zim and Dib. _

_WARNINGS:__ There WILL be slash (yaoi, shounen-ai, m/m, homosexuality, boy-on-boy, 801, man-on-man, gayness—however you want to say it) in later chapters. If you don't like that sort of thing, I suggest stopping with this chapter. _

_Otherwise, I'll let you know when the rating changes, or give the appropriate warnings when warranted. _

_Enjoy! _

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_**A Most Worthy Enemy**_

**Chapter 1:**

"My Tallest!" Zim blurted, staring up at the giant monitor, deep inside his not-so-secret secret base. "You have contacted me! _You_ have contacted _ZIM_!" He eyed them cautiously. "Are you sure you have the right number?"

"Zim, baby!" Tallest Red cried, tossing aside his drink. "How goes the…erm… Earth…thingy?"

Zim snapped to attention, pointedly ignoring the flashes of light and screams coming from his GIR unit. He did not want to know what that creature was up to _this_ time. Not when his Tallests had contacted _him_!

"Sirs! My latest plan to ENSLAVE the pathetic human race is coming to FRUITATION!" Zim boasted proudly. He glared over his shoulder at one of the monitors that he kept trained on the DIB house. "As soon as I rid myself of this FILTHY pest with his ABNORMALLY LARGE HEAD! He has made himself QUITE a nuisance of himself."

"Uh-huh…" Tallest Red murmured agreeably, eyeing Purple's box of fries.

"NOTHING I, your faithful Invader ZIM, cannot handle, I assure you, my Tallests!" Zim proclaimed quickly, laughing a little nervously. His scowl quickly reasserted itself. "The DIB BEAST learns QUICKLY. He has FINALLY started to become a WORTHY adversary for my SUPREME higher IRKEN intelligence! But I will crush you, DIB-THING. Ooh how I will crush you…and there will be pain, pain the likes of which you have never KNOWN!"

"A-hem," Purple coughed, bringing Zim's attention back to them. "Yeah…as great as all that sounds, Zim…crushing, destroying, pain…we're gonna need you to come back."

"Eh?" Zim blinked up at Tallest Purple.

"We're reassigning you!" Red cheered. He pointed with the straw of his new drink. "Look, look! We've already changed your pack identification back to an INVADER. See?!"

Zim turned and watched as yet another monitor pulled up his pack's display. His eyes grew rounder and bigger as he watched the HORRID Foodcortia logo change back to what rightfully belonged there. Invader.

"My Tallests…" Zim gazed up at them gratefully, deeply touched at such thoughtfulness. "I…I don't know what to say!"

"Yeah, we're great…" Red grinned. "We know."

"We're recalling all Irken Invaders, Zim," Purple said, pulling them back to the subject at hand. "There's a planet attempting to overthrow the Irken Empire."

"And we need YOU most especially," Red added, leaning forward.

"ME, my Tallest?" Zim repeated, hardly daring to believe it. "You want ME to join the invasion?"

"Well," Red said, grinning again. He traded looks with Purple, who seemed resigned to the decision. "We need _someone_ to LEAD the Irken fleet."

"_ME_?!" Zim screeched. "My lords, please allow me to make sure I understand this. You want ME, _ZIM_, to command the ENTIRE IRKEN FLEET and rain DOOM down upon this race of FOOLS who dare to rise against our MIGHTY POWER?!"

Red thought about it. "Doom…rain…Zim…yeah, that about covers it! What do you say?!"

"Do I need WORDS for this?!" Zim cried, shivering with excitement. "Yes! Yes, my Tallest! I am yours to COMMAND!"

"Great!" Red cheered. "We'll be by to pick you up in a jiff!"

"I would suggest," Purple said as Red skipped off, "that you straighten out any affairs you have there, Zim. You will not be returning to this…Earth place for a minimum of ten years."

"Eh? But my Tallest! Ten years?" Zim looked around his base, confused. "But… but…what about time warps…or…but…I still have to destroy this FILTHY PIG-MESS PLANET!"

Purple shrugged. "Meh. It'll still be there later. Now hurry up and get ready. We'll be there in one Irken minute!"

Zim's response was cut off as the monitor went black, and he stared at it for a long moment. One Irken minute roughly translated into a single Earth day. Which meant that they would arrive just after the horrible SKOOL let out on Monday.

He was leaving, Zim told himself. Leaving to command an Irken fleet. Filled with Irken Invaders waiting to do his bidding.

He was…leaving Earth…and it left a strange, heavy weight in the bottom of his stomach. Something…

…almost like…

"GIR!" Zim roared, turning away from the black screen before his thoughts could wander any further.

"Hiiii deeee hoo!" GIR cried, spinning down from the ceiling.

"GIR!" Zim repeated, focusing on the tiny robot. "Pack up the base! We leave tomorrow afternoon."

"Where we _go_in'?" GIR asked, executing a flip and landing on his head.

"The Tallests have recalled us," Zim explained as he headed towards the command center. He began entering the necessary override and shut down codes. "They will be here by tomorrow after…SKOOL…to collect us."

"But…I don't wanna go…" GIR mourned.

"That's too bad, GIR." All the power in the room abruptly shut down, save for a steady row of red lights leading to the exit door. Zim turned to his unit. "I have shut down all outward feeds, GIR. I want this room emptied by tonight."

GIR looked up at him, pouting. "_I said_, I DON'T WANNA GO!"

Zim twitched, gritting his teeth as he towered over his unit. "Our lords, the Tallests, have given their COMMAND, GIR! What we want is immaterial! Besides, we shall have an entire fleet of IRKEN SOLDIERS to do our bidding! What greater honor is there?! None! NONE, I SAY!"

"But…but…_I DON'T WANNA GO_!" GIR screamed, flailing his tiny hands.

Zim's eyes blazed. "Are you possessed of the BRAIN WORMS, you malfunctioning robot?! We are going to RULE entire WORLDS! This filthy, stinking, HUMAN-filth-stink world is NOTHING compared to what we shall have!"

Tears ran down GIR's face. "But…what about the tacos?" he whimpered.

"I am sure Foodcortia has tacos, GIR," Zim sighed.

"They won't be as good, though…" GIR sniffed.

Zim was silent for a long minute, his gaze drifting over to the black screen that had held watch over the Dib-fiend's house. "…Perhaps not…" he agreed quietly.

"Awww…" GIR cooed, grinning up at Zim. "You're gonna MISS HIM!"

Zim jerked away from his thoughts violently, refusing to acknowledge even the existence of them having been there at all.

"Huh?! What? NEVER! I shall REJOYCE in never having to see that really LARGE head of the DIB-CREATURE again! REJOYCE, I SAY! _REJOYCE!_" he shrieked.

Zim glared at GIR, who was still grinning at him. "Now get to work, GIR!"

GIR snapped him a sharp salute, his eyes flashing red. "Yes, Sir!"

Zim nodded and turned to walk back up to the house. The red lighted pathway flickered and died in his wake, leaving GIR's blue eyes the only light in the room.

Through the first half of skool the next day, Zim sat quietly, having nothing better to do than await his lords' arrival. It was strange, having no plans to take over the filthy Earth, and no need to ensure that he remained properly blended in with the stinking humans. He no longer needed to concern himself with such ridiculous trivial matters.

It was…strange.

"ZIM!"

Zim blinked and looked up from the lunch plate that remained untouched before him. Dib stood on the table in front of him, towering over Zim.

"Eh. What do you want, filthy Earth Dib-beast?" Zim demanded without caring about the answer.

"You're UP to something!" Dib snapped. "I know you! This…this QUIET ACT is just that! An act! You're planning something! I know it! But it won't work! That… something! Whatever it is! I'll stop it! I'll always stop you, Zim! I won't let you take Earth, you hear me?!"

Zim shoved away his plate, deciding for one last argument with his worthy foe. He leapt onto the tabletop and stood toe to toe with the human filth.

"You should be pleased, Dib-meat," Zim sneered. "Your…DISGUSTING planet of FILTH shall be spared for a few years longer."

Dib looked as shocked as Zim had seen him since the human meat-bag had seen through his ingenious disguise. "What? You're not supposed to spare our planet, Zim. You're the alien. You're supposed to destroy it…or whatever."

Zim crossed his arms, the desire to fight Dib fading. "Yes, well…the Irken fleet has need of a commander. The Tallests have, in their GREAT WISDOM, chosen ME."

"Wow. So…you're really leaving," Dib said, still looking confused, and just a little disappointed. "I…guess that means…we aren't enemies anymore?"

"Huh?"

Dib offered his hand awkwardly and grinned a little. "I guess…if you're not trying to kill the human race…we're friends?"

Zim looked from Dib to his hand and back again. "…Friends…?" He gulped nervously. "I…"

The bell rang, shattering the moment, and the hand Dib had been offering was gone. The two boys faced each other over the table, as they had countless times before, only this time, without rivalry.

"If you two IDIOTS are finished," Gaz snapped, appearing soundlessly at the side of their table and making both boys jump, "we have to get to class."

"Oh…uh, right, Gaz," Dib muttered, climbing down.

Their staring contest broken, Zim turned and ran, leaping off the table and through the cafeteria doors. He scowled at himself as he ran for the classroom, the Dib's words echoing in his head. Friends? With the Dib-beast? Had his mortal enemy finally succumb to the brain worms? They could never be _friends_! They were enemies! Enemies!

Safely inside the classroom before the late bell, Zim finally looked down at his right hand. His gut clenched.

So, then…if Dib was his enemy—and of COURSE the disgusting meat-bag was his ENEMY…

…then…

…why had Zim almost taken that hand?

Zim worried over this for the rest of class, risking Ms. Bitter's wrath, and finally came to an acceptable conclusion.

He had not been lifting his hand to _take_ the Dib-thing's hand, he had been lifting it to slap the offending limb _away_ from him, that was all.

Yes, it all made perfect sense to him now. He did not _like_ the Dib-head, the boy annoyed Zim, constantly interfering with his brilliant plans. He was an enemy, and enemies could never be _friends_. What ridiculousness!

Now that Zim had once again used his unparalleled IRKEN BRILLIANCE to think through things, he relaxed and strolled home casually. He still had _hours_ to go before his Tallests arrived, and packing was almost complete. He had checked on GIR several times that morning before skool, and been pleased to note that besides random sobbing over some Earth material, the robot unit had done as Zim had ordered. Everything would be ready to go in only two hours.

Still, the offer from Dib plagued Zim. Friends…

Zim snorted. So, the Dib-creature wanted to be friends, did he? Evidently he did not understand that Irken Invaders did not HAVE friends. They had no use for such things! If they wanted company, they would simply conquer a planet or two and take the survivors as slaves!

"GIR!" Zim called, leaping up from the couch. He glanced down as his robot appeared at his side. "Guard the house while I'm gone, GIR. I am going to have a TALK with the FOOLISH Dib-being."

"I wanna come!" GIR cried, waving his hand.

"No, GIR," Zim stressed. "Stay. GUARD."

The waving hand snapped into a salute. "Aye, Aye, Sir!"

"Good GIR, I shall return shortly."

"Byesie-bye!" GIR called after his master.

Zim hurried over to Dib's house, intent on explaining things and getting back before the Tallests arrived. The electric barrier surrounding the filthy human's home gave him only a moment's pause, and then Zim was at the door, knocking.

The door opened, revealing Gaz playing her game one-handed. "Oh, it's you," she commented, looking up briefly. "Dib's in his room, looking up weird stuff now that he can't obsess over you. Go on up. The password is 'alien'."

"Er…thanks…" Zim said, edging around the girl. She had always made him a little nervous.

Dib turned around, surprised when his door opened without his approval. "Zim! What…how did you get in?!"

"Did you really think your _pathetic_ parameter shield would stop me?!" Zim roared, laughing. "Your sister gave me the password to your room, though. Not a very subtle one, Dib-meat!"

"Didn't think I'd NEED subtlety for YOU, Zim," Dib shot back. He stopped then, and looked confused. "What are you doing here, anyway? Weren't you…you know, leaving?"

"Of course I am! I am ZIM! Leader of Irken Fleet ONE!" Zim proclaimed, leaping onto Dib's bed so he could better look down on the human. "I have simply come here to tell you, filthy Dib-beast, that we will NEVER be FRIENDS!"

Dib eyed Zim cautiously. "Yeah…I know that. I was just…" he sighed, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "…trying to be nice, I guess. I mean, you're leaving, right? And we did fight well against each other."

Zim grinned, hopping down from the bed, and stuck his hands into his pockets. "Yeah…that we did." He shook his head, putting away fond memories of Dib's giant head stuck in his trashcan. "Anyway, I just came to tell you that while this HORRIBLE PLANET may have PROLONGED it's DEMISE, I will UNDOUBTEDLY be back to FINISH the job!"

Dib sat back in his computer chair, smirking. "I should have guessed that one."

"Mark my words, Dib-beast," Zim swore, pointing one long finger at him, "in TEN YEARS I shall return and FINALLY rid this planet of it's PUTRIDNESS. And NO ONE will be able to stand in my way!"

"I'LL stand in your way!" Dib argued vehemently, rising to Zim's declaration. "I'll wait, and in ten years, I'll FINALLY expose you to the world! Earth won't fall without a fight!"

Zim smirked at Dib, comfortable as his enemy again. That was how they were meant to be. "I look forward to seeing how much bigger that head of yours will grow, Dib-freak," he said over his shoulder as he walked out of the room.

"Hey—" Dib's complaint was cut off as the door sealed shut, and Zim snickered.

"So, you're leaving, huh?"

Zim jumped as Gaz appeared next to him. "Er…yes. Yes, I am…"

Gaz sighed and rolled her eyes, continuing to her room. "Great. Now Dib will be even MORE annoying since he has no one to obsess over!"

"GIR! I have returned!" Zim called into the house.

"YAY! Master's back!" GIR cheered, rolling into the room and spinning to a stop at Zim's feet. "Yoooou have a MESSAGE!"

"Eh?" Zim frowned. He looked at the picture on the wall behind the couch and saw that it was blinking. It lit up and revealed the Tallests.

"Hey! Zim!" Red called, waving. "Sorry we missed our little Fleet Leader! We're running a little late. You wouldn't _believe_ how hard it is to find this Earth place! Really!"

"We should be arriving just about the time you finish this message," Purple added with a rare, wide grin. "Hope you're ready to rock and ROLL!"

The screen cut to black, and the house began to shake. Zim turned to his unit. "GIR! Quickly! The Tallests have arrived!"

"_AaaaaaaaHHHHHHHhhhhhh_!" GIR screamed, racing around it a small circle.

Zim looked back at his unit impatiently from the doorway. "Now, GIR! We must leave the house before we compress it! Come!"

"Oh! Oh! Can I squish the house? Can I? Can I? Pleeeeeaaaaaase?" GIR begged, skipping out behind Zim.

The young Irken Invader sighed, humoring his unit. "Oh, very well. But QUICKLY, GIR. We have no time to waste!"

"YAY!!"

Zim stood on the sidewalk as GIR began the 'squishing' process, and looked up to see the giant Irken Mothership filling the sky. Zim turned back as the house folded in on itself, the large cables slithering away from the two houses next to him. The house folded smaller and smaller, the power cords wrapping around and through it until it was the size of a small ball.

GIR cheered, tossed it into the air, and promptly ate it.

Zim gazed at the barren space and deep crater from his underground labs as GIR ran back to him.

"Allllll doooonnnnne," GIR announced. Then he grinned. "Can we get some tacos, now?"

A hole opened in the mothership, and the transportation beam landed mere inches behind them. Zim reached down and took GIR's hand, leading the robot into the light.

"No, GIR," Zim said calmly, awaiting transportation into the ship. "We won't be having Earth tacos for a while."

"Oh yeah…" GIR mourned, his head drooping.

Then they were on the main deck with a clear view of the Earth as they rose away from it. Zim and GIR watched the empty lot of their old house slowly faded into a view of the city. Beside him, GIR began to cry again.

"…t-tacooossss…" GIR sniffed.

Zim regarded his unit before smiling just a little, and rested his hand on top of its' head comfortingly. "Yes, GIR. Tacos."

He turned back to the planet, Dib's house catching his attention even as they drifted further away. "…tacos."

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_Thanks for reading! Be sure to review and feed the author!_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Wow! I'm so happy you guys like it so far. Thank you, everyone, for your reviews!_

_**BarkingPup**__: Thanks for the encouragement. I'll try to go back through and find my mistakes. (hides in shame) I'm really sorry about the excessive use of CAPS, but you seem to have hit the nail on the head. I felt that italicizing or bolding the word didn't really get the screaming across, so... Though I admit I may have gone a bit overboard in Chapter 1. I'll try to calm it down a bit from now on. _

_**Hashmir**__: Sorry about Tallest Red. I wanted him to be really excitable and upbeat, and I think he kind of ran away with it. I'll try to pull him back into line a bit…if he lets me. I'm a bit worried he's having a little too much fun…_

_**Yeyana**__**Valentine**__: I'll work hard to live up to your review. And I'll try my best to keep everyone in line…as best I can with this wild lot. Thanks for the vote of confidence!_

_Now, everyone, please enjoy the next chapter. Try not to be too disappointed that I skipped ahead. I want this to be just a humor/romance fic, so I'm leaving the drama… ehh, it'll be sorta like an unwelcomed side-character that continually gets punted off stage._

_And, as always, I live for your feedback._

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**Chapter 2:**

**11 YEARS LATER**

"GIR!" Zim called, pacing the length of the command deck restlessly.

"Sir! Yes, Sir! I am here, Sir!" GIR said sharply, zooming onto the deck and landing with a crisp salute.

The bot gurgled, laughing and spoiling the SIR imitation. "Wha'cha neeeeeed?"

Zim turned to his unit, smiling faintly at its' familiar antics. "The Arkuni race has been demolished, GIR. Our mission is complete." He turned back to the view-port and his smile grew, his fingertips tingling with the knowledge of what was to come. "It is time, GIR."

"Huh…? Time for whaaaaat?" GIR chirped.

Zim's smile turned sharp and anticipatory. "It is time…for tacos, GIR." His hands clenched into fists as he turned with fierce excitement to face his unit. "TACOS!"

There was a short moment of surprised silence, and then, as Zim expected, GIR exploded. He watched his odd little robot fly back together and begin zooming around the ship, screaming of tacos and tuna and happiness.

"S-sir?"

Zim's smile vanished, and he glared down at the tiny Invader with the tray of fries and coke. "I do not hunger. Get that filth away from me!"

The Irken groveled. "O-oh mighty Second Tallest…p-please, the almighty Tallests are on hold for you."

Zim sighed, snatching up the drink. Red and Purple went into fits when they called and he wasn't stuffing himself. Always convinced he never ate and that their favorite new Irken Fleet Leader would waste away.

"Put them on," Zim said shortly, slouching back into the seat that hovered behind him.

"ZIM!" Red cried, lighting up the screen. "How's our Second Tallest doing? That's some good fries there, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

"Yes, yes," Zim agreed, turning his attention to Purple. "Almighty Tallest Purple, your fleets have been victorious once more! I, ZIM Fleet Commander of SEVEN FLEETS, have rained DOOM down upon the DOOMED civilization of the Arkunians! As such, the food production at Foodcortia should more than _double_ from the remaining slaves."

Red eyed Zim suspiciously, never a fool when it came to his food. "I thought you said that the production would TRIPLE…"

"Eh." Zim shrugged. "What can I say? I got bored and the troops like to kill. We decided to hold a few TOURNAMENTS of DEATH. It was quite popular, really."

"Aww, hey, _I_ want to see a tournament of death," Red complained to Purple.

"I did happen to record it," Zim said, holding up a disk.

Red cheered. "You ROCK, Zim!"

"You have become a surprisingly good Invader, Zim," Purple said. "Your popularity is skyrocketing. There are THREE other fleets wanting to join under your name."

"Oh, um…yeah, about that," Zim mentioned casually, slurping a long drink from his cup. "I'm going to have to give the fleets back now. I don't need this many to take care of my original mission."

"Original mission?" Purple asked, confused.

"You finished that one years ago, man!" Red laughed. "Remember? That little war with the…erm…whadyamacallits…the…the..."

"The Tacypoc-ians," Purple supplied. "They had stolen our plans to operation Impending Doom One and were using it to strike against us. The only solution was Zim. With his ability to completely RUIN any Irken plan, we unleashed him upon the FOOLISH invading FOOLS that looked remarkably like us."

Red beamed and cooed at Zim. "And he _completely_ decimated them, just like he did on _our_ operation Impending Doom One! We were so PROUD!"

"Yes. One of my finer moments," Zim agreed, basking in his achievement for a moment. "However! I was referring to the mission assigned to me BEFORE that, Almighty Tallest. The ANNILATION of that FILTHY planet of PIG-MEAT HUMANS: _Earth_…"

"Earth? Hm…_Earth_…" Red glanced at Purple, who shrugged. "No, not ringing any bells…"

"What?! But…but you must remember, my Tallests!" Zim cried. "You assigned it to me just before operation Impending Doom Two! You…you came and picked me up there!"

"Wait, wait…" Purple said, frowning. "I think…it's coming back to me now… Remember, Red? Zim's _first mission_." He stressed, giving his partner a pointed look.

"No, not rea—Oh! THAT mission!" Red laughed. "Yes, EARTH. I remember now. Horrible time getting there." He gave Zim a strange look. "You want to go BACK?"

"Yes. That planet of PUTRID HUMANS has yet to meet it's DOOM at my hands," Zim said, clenching his hands into fists.

"Eh," Red shrugged, dismissing the subject. "Send an Invader out to trash it, if you want. We have another mission for you!"

Zim leapt to his feet with a snarl, slamming his fist into the consol. "_NO_! No other Invader goes to Earth! That is MY planet! _MY_ mission! Oh, the plans I have crafted for it…plans of DOOM and PAIN so GREAT!"

"But, _Zim_…" Red whined. "We want a new parking planet…Our old one is going to blow up soon…"

"I can assign…um…" Zim quickly scanned the computer files for a name. "Irken Invader SQUIL to such a task, my Tallest! He is one of the best I have. He's strong, dependable, incredibly stupid, and annoying, so if he dies in the invasion, all the better for us."

"I don't know…" Purple said hesitantly. "We really need that parking planet…"

Zim thought through his choices quickly. Something…something to convince them…

"But…ah…YOU'VE never had Earth TACOS, my Tallests!"

"Tacos…?" Red repeated, trying out the word. "No…can't say that we have…"

"They are _delicious_ shells FILLED with a mysterious meat-like substance," Zim cajoled. "Tastier than even Foodcortia's FRIES!"

Red gasped, pulling back in shock. "No! Nothing's tastier than that!"

"Oh, but they are the tastiest of tasty tacos!" Zim leaned towards the monitor. "Allow me to go to Earth, my Tallests, and I shall transform the FILTHY planet into a world of TACOS! It will be…It will be a SECOND FOODCORTIA!"

"Ooh! _Ooh_! Can we, Purple? Can we? Please? I want a second Foodcortia! Can we? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?!" Red begged, tugging on the other Tallest's sleeve. "Pleeeeaaase!"

Purple sighed, giving his partner a pained look before turning to Zim with a resigned expression. "Very well, Zim. I suppose we can hold off on conquering planets for a few months. The soldiers have been bothering us about some Union Required vacations, or some such nonsense. Are you sure you don't want to take a fleet or two with you?"

"Thank you, my Tallest, but no," Zim replied confidently, relaxing back into his seat now that his mission was safe. "This is personal. That disgusting DIB-meat-thing is waiting for me to once again begin our WAR of DOOM!"

"You mean that kid with the REALLY big head?" Red asked.

"Yes, my Tallest! It was he, and he alone, that saw through my INGENIOUS disguise and challenged me for Earth." Zim grinned, already anticipating their new and fierce battles. "He is a most WORTHY adversary, and I will DELIGHT in CRUSHING HIM beneath my boots…of DOOM!"

"THAT'S the kind of attitude we're looking for in an Invader!" Purple applauded him.

"He had a really, really big head," Red muttered, looking a little appalled. "It must be _enormous_ by now…"

Zim chuckled, imagining the unimaginable size of Dib's head. "Yes…Well! With your permissions, my almighty Tallests, I shall appoint…uhh…Invader SQUIL to Fleet Leader and take up my mission once more!"

"Good luck, Zim!" Red called. "Watch out for that kid's head, though."

"Yes, my lord. I shall contact you once I have once again cleverly _integrated_ myself into the HUMAN society." Zim gave them a short bow before cutting the connection.

He turned randomly and pointed at one of the Invaders standing close by. "YOU! Tiny Invader…person. FETCH ME INVADER SQUIL!"

The small man jumped, looking up at Zim almost fearfully. "I…I _am_ Invader Squil, my Second Tallest. What may this lowly creature do for you?"

"Ah! Most excellent," Zim said, pleased. "Your punctuality is to be COMMENDED, Invader Squil! As a reward…" Zim unpinned his Fleet Commander pins and dumped them into the small Invader's hands. "You are to command my fleets until I return, Invader Squil. I expect full and good reports of the planets you have conquered in my name!"

Invader Squil looked terrified. "B-But my lord Second Tallest…I—I can't—"

Zim grabbed the man and lifted him up to his impressive height. "You will take these and obey me, Squil. OBEY ME!"

"Y-Yes, my great Second Tallest! Thank you for the honor!" Squil squeaked, flailing in panic.

Zim loomed over him. "If you should fail me, Commander Squil…" he pointed down the hall with his free hand. "You remember Invader GAK."

Squil paled to an ugly, sickly green. The torment of former-Invader Gak was legendary. So horrible that even the ones who had witnessed it came out changed. It was a punishment second to only the Tallests' High Punishment, and very much suited for the Second Tallest Invader Zim.

No one was quite sure _why_ the Second Tallest and former-Invader Gak disliked each other so, but it was whispered that the grudge came from _before_, during the Second Tallest's time on some planet called Earth.

"I s-swear to make you proud, almighty Second Tallest Sir!" Squil cried. "Anything but former-Invader Gak's fate!"

Zim smirked and dropped Squil to the floor. "Your fear has pleased me, Commander Squil. Instill such fear in the crew and they shall follow you until I return! GIR!"

"YAAAHHOOOOO!!" GIR howled, speeding into the command deck. "TACOS! Tacos, my master! _TACOOOOS_!"

"Yes, GIR," Zim agreed, leading the way to his chambers. "We are preparing for the tacos."

"I already packed your stuuuuff…" GIR sighed with excitement as they entered the now-barren room.

Zim smiled down at the robot briefly. "Most excellent of you, GIR. I shall order you TUNA as well."

GIR screamed in delight and latched himself onto Zim's leg. "Master's so kiiiind!"

Zim turned and caught sight of himself in the mirror as they left.

As always, he was a little surprised at how tall he had really grown. True, everyone called him 'Second Tallest' for a reason, but… He had to be at least five and three-quarters feet tall! He stood now up to the Tallests shoulders, as thin and lanky as they were. Purple sometimes said that when Zim grew to Red's height it would be hard to tell them apart. Zim's clothes were also a close mirror of Red's, only darker, the color of the DISGUSTING HUMAN BLOOD he would spill soon enough. A REMINDER of what awaited him after each victory. A reminder of _who_ waited for him.

"Come, GIR," Zim called, leaving the room. "We are already one Earth year late. We must make haste to the DOOM of Earth and…DIB!"

* * *

_Thanks for reading! Chapter 3 coming soon…_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N:**__ This one's a little short, too. Sorry about that, but I wanted to get both Zim and Dib's grown-up lives in their own chapters. I, of course, use the term "grown-up" in the loosest possible sense, considering the subjects. I'm working on chapter 4 now, so it might take longer than usual. Please have patience...is a stupid thing to ask, but I do anyways._

_Also, I apologize if Gaz seems...very out of character. I always figured that if she grew up, she'd be really...blunt. And upfront about what she wanted (and wanted done), while still being overtly threatening. Let me know if you think this Gaz is a little too off base._

_**Thanks to everyone for their kind reviews!!**__ You guys rock!_

BarkingPup – _Yes! There's a story behind that, and I know what it is! As for it being 'true' or not... No, if you're talking about in the actual series. Don't worry if you're confused. I think everyone is right now. Heh. Errm…sorry about that. But yes, I _will_ explain Zim's missing years. Eventually. ...Somehow._

TheOptimisticPessimist -  _Lol! Ah, my dear! Your post does make me grin. ...And gets random Black Eyed Peas songs stuck in my head for days! I would curse you, but I had too much fun with writing to that music. Thanks for the encouragement!_

Sighani – _Okay, I want to make sure you understand this clearly before I go any further. You left a long, detailed review that critiqued my work, pointed out errors, and asked me pointed, intelligent questions. Yep. It's official, I'm afraid. No helping it. I _LOVE_ you!! Mwahahaha! :D Thanks for the IC compliments, and I hope this chapter isn't too terrible for you. Now, onto my excuses—er, explanations, I mean! Too much dialogue, not enough description. That's a very good catch, you're absolutely right, and I'll tell you why... I _suck_ at it. I'm sorry, but I really do! I'm trying to get better, though, so please bear with it. As to the Tallests swapping attitudes...you're not crazy. I did switch them up a little. Why? Well, partly because I hadn't watched the series in a while when I dusted this little ditty off, but mostly because I seem to naturally gravitate towards certain behavioral types with certain colors. (I blame the Ninja Turtles for this. It cemented the 'reds are hot-heads, and purples are mommies' mentality, I think.) Don't worry, I'll...make it right, uh...somehow, when I do Zim's backstory. ;) Which, by the way, I'm pleased you have faith in. My muse officially loves you for that, too, since _I_ haven't had anything even remotely approaching faith in that little gap for _months_. And lastly... Don't ever worry about being too mean with me! I am a big, strong, thick-skinned idiot. If that doesn't convince you, I'll say this: I've worked _retail_ for _five years_! Ha! I am impervious to insults! Behold my awesome shield of verbal scarring! So, I welcome any other comments you might have in the future. Ciao, sweetheart! _

* * *

_**A Most Worthy Enemy**_

**Chapter 3:**

_**Meanwhile, Back On Earth…**_

"_DIB_! I swear to god, DIB! If you make us LATE for Hoggy's 351ST _Anniversary Party_ because of some STUPID EXPERIMENT, I will make you wish you were back in that alternate dimension SCRUBBING TOILETS AGAIN!"

Dib sighed, shaking his head. His sister never changes, he thought, hunching over his keyboard and typing faster. Even when she became President of the United States, she _still_ insisted on never missing a Hoggy's Pizza Heaven new pizza premiere.

And she could still terrify a grown man into silence with a single look.

"Coming, Gaz!" Dib called over his shoulder, standing as he typed the last of the e-mail and sent it off. He had to hurry, or she'd really come in and destroy everything he had spent the last eleven years of his life building up from almost nothing.

"We won't be late," Dib added evenly, stepping out of his office as he shrugged into his comfortably-worn black coat. "We have the hover car, remember?"

Really, it was Tak's ship from years ago, which Dib had decided to convert into a car after wiping out its AI system. For real this time. It'd been a pain, and he'd accidentally destroyed a small suburb, but it made traffic a thing of the past. And _that_ had saved Dib from the wrath of Gaz too many times to remember.

"Whatever. Just. Get. Me. There. ON. TIME!" Gaz snarled.

Dib scanned the hall as they hurried towards the roof and noticed that Gaz's appointed Secret Service men were keeping their distance, curled in a corner and watching him with wide, pleading eyes. Dib sighed. He'd have to remember to have them replaced again with men who weren't terrified of their president.

The only problem was that Dib didn't think there were any _left_.

After becoming not only the world's youngest president, but also the first _female_ president at age twenty-one, Gaz had, in just one short year, brought world peace and a unity to the United States the likes of which everyone was too terrified to break apart. When Dib mentioned that ruling with fear maybe wasn't the best idea, Gaz had given him a dark look over the trembling bodies of the freshly-subdued Senators.

"_Don't be more stupid than necessary, DIB. If I do it _this_ way, the smart ones will learn to respect me, eventually, AND I'll be able to _weed out_ the idiots. You have a _better_ idea, smartass?"_

As it turned out, he hadn't. And it seemed that Gaz's plan worked out with only a few minor wars. Dib never asked what happened to the opposing armies. It was enough that the threats vanished, bodies and all.

For Dib, life had picked up just as quickly as his sister's had.

Only a year after Zim had left, he'd caught a lucky break and ended up saving the Chief of the Secret Service from a wild man-eating wombat. The man had taken Dib under his wing, showing him the secrets of the FBI and CIA. Secrets Dib didn't feel the need to tell the man he'd known since Elementary skool.

After being hired into the Secret Service, Dib had risen through the ranks quickly. And when the Chief took an assassin's bullet for the former president and died, Dib took his place at the tender age of twenty.

Since assuming the role as Chief of the Secret Service, Dib had devoted his time to joining both the Secret Service and the Swollen Eyeball, which had surprisingly gained popularity and credentials over the years. He took over as leader for the Swollen Eyeball when their old leader decided to view the galaxy with a visiting group of aliens.

Now, years later, Dib's official and unofficial title was 'Dib, Commander and Chief of the Secret Service/Swollen Eyeball collaboration and Head of Presidential Security'.

He'd been forced to add the last part after Gaz's third month in office. When the last group of presidential guards had run screaming from the White House, crying for a priest and their mothers. And not always in that order.

"Dan is going to be there," Gaz was saying, jerking Dib from his thoughts. She shot him a warning look. "So you better not do anything to make him UNCOMFORTABLE. Got it?!"

"Dan?" Dib repeated, glancing at Gaz in confusion. "I thought you were dating Dirk? Or was it Sam? And…uh, what happened to Len?"

Gaz glared harder at Dib. "Dirk was stupid, so I fed him to my room. Sam was annoying, so I fed him to the Senators. And Len was just a jerk, so I sent him to Antarctica." She smiled sharply. "I think the penguins ate him." Dib shuddered. "But I _like_ this one, Dib. If you chase him off…"

"Toilets, yes, I know," Dib replied quickly. "I won't do more than take his fingerprints, I swear!"

Storm clouds rolled after the speeding aircraft, making the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Gaz's glare was one breath away from killing something. "…_**DIB**_…"

Dib gulped. "Or…not… Just some friendly conversation instead. How about that?"

Seeing their landing spot ahead, Dib gratefully landed the aircraft outside the roped-off pizza place. It was always kind of sentimental, being back in their old neighborhood, he thought with a fond glance around. Because not just any branch of Piggy's Pizza would do for Gaz. Oh no, it had to be the _exact same one_.

"Not. One. _Word_. Dib," Gaz warned him as they got out. "Or ELSE!"

"_Shnookums_!" A man cried, hurrying over to them.

Dib gaped at the man, horrified for this stranger's terrible fate after calling his sister like that. He turned slowly to his sister, fully expecting to see the wrath of Hell loosening, and wondered if he could talk her into just killing to poor idiot quickly. Probably not, but he had to try!

Dib stumbled back involuntarily when met with the doe-eyed expression his sister had. No. It _couldn't be_! The Demonic President that even _Hell_ wouldn't claim? Completely…_besotted_?!

God help them all, Dib thought fearfully, a shiver of cold premonition running down his spine.

_Gaz_ was IN LOVE!

"Danny-pie," Gaz cooed, hugging him as Dib choked. "You know my brother Dib. Dib, this is Dan."

Dib nodded, sweating under the glare Gaz shot him, and shook the man's hand without saying a word.

He was…southern, Dib decided, still numb. Very, very southern.

"How ya'll doin', sweet?" Dan asked, pulling Gaz towards the restaurant. "Pizza's lookin' _mighty_ fine today."

"Great. I'm starved," Gaz sighed, beaming. She shot a sharp look over their shoulders and hissed at Dib. "Don't make us late, BROTHER."

Dib raced ahead of them nervously and opened the door for his sister politely. He entered in after them and took a seat opposite Dan in the booth. The waxy, greasy surface of the table had been polished slick, and he could even see his reflection in it. It reminded him to change the shading on his glasses from opaque to clear.

He leaned back in his booth and propped his chin on his hands, his head tilted just right so the overhead fluorescent lights caught the reflection on his glasses and hid his eyes. It was the only way he could study Gaz's infatuation with this…DAN person without her noticing for a few minutes.

The man sat doting on his sister, looking just as infatuated as she was. Perhaps it really was true love. To _Gaz_. Regardless, he'd have his units sweep the table and chairs for prints after Gaz left. One could never be too careful, after all. Even if Gaz was a devil incarnate, she was still the President. Oh, and his sister.

"DIB!" Gaz snarled. "What are you doing?"

Dib jerked, straightening up. Damn, caught already. He tried for an awkward laugh. "Sorry, Gaz. I must have been working too hard on our latest project. I was just drifting off a little."

Gaz's narrowed, suspicious eyes told him she didn't buy it for an instant, but Dan laughed, accepting the lie, and she let it drop. Until they were alone again.

"What is it that you're workin' on there?" Dan asked good-naturedly. "Gazzy here tells me you're with the Secret Service."

Dib scowled. "I AM the Secret Service. Commander and Chief Dib." He grinned at Dan then, just as good naturedly. "If I told you what I did, though, I'd be forced to have you killed."

"Dib!" Gaz hissed, but was once again silenced by Dan's easy laughter.

"That's what they all say, buddy! But good luck with it nonetheless, now," Dan said cheerfully.

"I…thanks," Dib said, surprised. Maybe he really was a nice guy after all…

"Here's your pizza, Madam President," a young woman said, setting a large pizza before them. She flicked a glance to Dib, who sat still within his own thoughts. She blushed and added a bit breathlessly, "Commander and Chief…Dib."

Dib glanced at her shortly, palming a small communications device from his jacket pocket. "Thank you. And can I get a refill of coke?" he muttered distractedly, sending short orders to the agents on stand-by outside.

The woman looked delighted. "_Yes_! Yes, right away!"

"She wants you," Gaz observed as the woman flustered away. She turned a hard look on her brother. "She looks clean enough. Date her."

Dib looked up, surprised at the abrupt order, and pocketed the comm-device. "What? Who?"

Gaz snarled, "Our waitress."

"We had a waitress?" Dib asked skeptically.

"_Yes_! She's _right there_!"

Dib followed Gaz's direction, blinking when he found a young woman blushing and blinking at him quickly. "_Her_?! No way, _not_ going to happen. Besides, I'm way too busy right now for a relationship."

"You've been 'way too busy' ever since Zim left," Gaz drawled. "You're twenty-three. You need to get laid."

Dib blushed furiously. "GAZ! This isn't about _ZIM_, and I don't want—"

He broke off awkwardly as the woman in question returned, setting down a perfectly filled coke. With a piece of paper under it. Dib watched her as she blushed hotly and hurried back to the back kitchen. He picked the slip of paper up, examined the number, and sighed, slipping it into his coat pocket. He hated it when Gaz was right.

He didn't even understand _why_ women kept coming up to him.

Okay, sure, he'd maybe grown into his large head. And okay, so maybe he had a nice body kept finely toned. But, that was just so he could run after rouge mutants better! If he was out of shape, those monsters would catch him and eat him without a thought!

And he _guessed_ he looked alright in the face. No obvious deformities. Strong jaw, firm skin, hard eyes with his hair grown out just until it was a little shaggy, but that was only through neglect! He didn't have _time_ to cut his hair. He had to save the entire _world_ from the monsters that attacked from _outer space_!

It might be the clothes, Dib thought absently. He had heard somewhere that women were into the tall, dark, and mysterious. He was all three. Dark-haired by birth, mysterious by profession, and he dressed in black dress pants, black shirts, and a black trench coat. But, again, all for very practical reasons! Blending in with the dark was _key_ to capturing the monsters.

And his long black trench coat was really an experimental version of reinforced steel bended with cotton. It was a design he'd helped his father start a year or two ago. So far it worked exceptionally well against fire, disease, bullets, lasers, and knives.

"I mean it, Dib," Gaz said, giving him a hard look over her pizza slice.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay, whatever," Dib muttered, taking a slice of pizza despondently. He didn't _want_ to date around. Why couldn't Gaz understand that? He just _wasn't_—

An alarm went off in Dib's left coat pocket, making his heart leap into his throat.

That alarm! The sharp, piercing whistles! He dove for it quickly and pulled out a small, ancient hand-held device. Yes! It was! He couldn't believe it!

"Tell me that isn't…" Gaz trailed off, looking irate.

Dib leapt up without answering, nearly shaking with anticipation. He couldn't _believe_ it! After _so_ long of _waiting_!

"GAZ! I have to _go_! He's CLOSE, Gaz! Our atmosphere close!" He touched the ear-piece in his right ear. "Agents James and Bradford, I need you to take over watch on Madam President. Immediately!"

Twin howls of despair assaulted his ear, and Dib shut the device off, knowing they'd be there. They wouldn't _dare_ disobey him. He beamed at his sister. "I'll see you later, Gaz! I've got to go! He's coming!"

"Yeah, well…he's _late_," Gaz grumbled with a dark scowl, sitting back with her pizza again.

"Ah…w-wait, sir!" the waitress from before cried. "Would you like a to-go box?!"

Dib paused at the door, spinning on his heel to face the woman. "Are you _deaf_, woman?!" he demanded, his heart pounding so hard he was amazed it didn't leap out of his chest. "There's no time! He's _coming_!"

Unable to help himself, Dib grinned widely, jittery and as excited as his first monster hunt. "ZIM is coming _back_!"

There were several abrupt thumps—the most prominent of them being the waitress at Gaz's table—as the waitresses swooned under the radiant smile. Not that Dib had noticed, already rushing out the door, hot on the trail of his long-lost childhood nemesis.

* * *

_Thanks for reading! You'll feed the author on the way out...right?_


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